Learning, Trusting, and Learning to Trust More

The past (almost) two months have been a unique mix of exhilaration, anxiety, anticipation and dread, wonder, worry, and trust. The World Race is unlike anything I’ve ever done or even considered before, and as a result, I’m in a space where a lot of learning and growing is required just to get ready. Yet, because it’s a preparatory time, the learning is happening in a space of familiarity – which is both comforting and jarring.

If I had to guess about the year ahead, I’d assume the combination of “comforting and jarring” will be applicable in a lot of ways. Especially the jarring. Comforting in seeing the ways that life and the church are universal, and in the ways that God will show up – for He is the same yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). Jarring in… probably everything else!

In this season, I’m learning that trusting God can very often be easier said than done.

That there’s a lot more to extensive travel like that of the World Race than I realized. (Shocker!)

That there’s a difference between passive and active waiting.

That there are blessings to acknowledge in the present even as there are ones to look forward to in the future.

That this is just as big of a commitment as I imagined, and more than likely more so.

But those aren’t reasons to fear; they’re reasons to keep trusting the Lord and letting Him grow my faith, especially considering His leading to (and, undoubtedly, beyond) this point.

The summer before heading to college, I listened to a short message from the college chaplain (shoutout Brent!) about trusting God during changing life seasons. While the context then was focused on the transition from high school to college, the content still very much rings true now. I specifically remember that he made a statement along the lines of, “Journeying with Jesus is not done in trepidation, but in trust.”

That line was a vital reminder for me for the first year of college, when COVID mandates ruled.

It was vital to point me back to the Lord throughout the rest of college, as classes and internships and work piled up stress, and I found myself not sure where to go after graduation.

And I find it vital to remember still as I look ahead to the crazy adventure of the World Race. Because if nothing else, I can say that it’s only because of Jesus that I even considered the World Race, even considered ways to live out the Great Commission, in the first place! It’s only by journeying with Jesus that I’ve come to this place! Truly, when we seek Him, He leads that we may follow. And sometimes it’s a road we never would have expected or picked for ourselves, and the destination may be unclear – but we can go forward in faith knowing the final destination. We know that when we are in Christ, our end is eternity with Him. And because we know of His victory, won in love for us – indeed, simply because of His love for us! – we can walk with Him in trust, not trepidation, fear, worry, anxiety, any of that.

Proverbs 3:5-6 is a commonly quoted verse, but it holds so much wisdom:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

With all our hearts. When there are things to be done, sometimes I catch myself trying to jump ahead and just start, or do things without thinking them through or – especially – praying about it. There’s an impulsive part of my heart that starts acting from a place of trusting my ideas and understanding over God’s. And often in doing so, I end up starting to worry or find reasons to fear. Truly, I don’t want to do that even in the little things of life. I want to live trusting the Lord with all my heart, in all things.

All things involves the little and the big. The extraordinary and the mundane. I want to know the Lord and His Word more and more each day so I can live according to His will – submitted to Him, that He will make my paths straight. And especially in this missional venture, which is for Him, I don’t want to be solely striving in my own strength. Indeed, is there value in going for Him without going with Him? In all things I want to follow my Savior’s lead, walking with Him and trusting Him without reservation both in this season of preparation and the seasons to come.

And of course, speaking of all things, a big part of the preparation and learning in this season is (of course) support raising! The whole process of raising funds has already proven to be a faith-grower, for sure… it’s challenging and uncomfortable and awkward at times. But in those moments of uncertainty, we can either lean on our own merits, or depend on God, give it to Him, and trust that He can do more than we can imagine with the loaves and fish we have to offer, no matter how big the crowd to feed (Matthew 14:13-21).

I want to live every moment trusting my God to be the Provider, the Redeemer, the Savior that He is, and doing the part that He has granted to me to participate in His Kingdom work, wherever I may be.

That said, I am trusting the Lord to provide as I’m fundraising, and there’s less than a month until the first financial deadline! I need to be 25% funded by November 30. I’m already at 20% as of writing this – praise the Lord!!! Every bit is a blessing. If you’d be willing to prayerfully consider donating toward my trip, it would truly mean so much!

And I never want to understate the importance of prayer. Prayers for

• myself and the squad in all the preparations we need to make
• fundraising for every member of our squad
• willing hearts to grow in trusting the Lord and yielding to His will

would be so appreciated.

May you and I continue to grow in knowing and trusting the Lord, in this and every season!